Saturday, November 25, 2006
13 Years Ago
It has been 13 years since my mom lost her battle to cancer. I was only 12 then, yet, I felt so old. After being around my very sick mom for 10 months, her death felt like I was shifted to and from reality all in one breath.
The experience of losing a parent so early in life changed me in many ways. I have learned to become more independent, street smart, resilient and mature. Yet, I know that having to experience that at such a young age, robbed me of certain givens that "normal" people usually experience. While girls at 13 were worrying about boys and zits, I was always contemplating about finding the purpose behind her death. I never had those fights that mothers and daughters usually have during girls' transition to womanhood. I mean, I just had to think and act differently because life was indescribably real at that time. I was not miserable though. I just felt that at that time, my thought processes were a bit more advanced than my peers.
I know that I have become a better person because of the experience. But I am also aware that there are certain highlights in my life that were and will always feel a bit empty -- high school and college graduations, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc.
No matter, I know that in the 12 years that she was with me, she has made me feel like the most loved girl in the world. And until this day, I hold on to that. I would not be who I am if not for the security I felt when she was still around.
Thank you Mama for being in my life. One day, I will write a more fitting tribute for you. :)
1 comments:
My mother died when I was 14, and even though I have tried to put it down in words a million times, I don't think I could have done it as well as you have. I know the pain of losing a parent is a different experience for everyone, but this is exactly how I felt, and thankyou for putting it down in words so I know that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do.
Its a beautiful tribute. :)
Love,
Saba
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