Saturday, September 30, 2006

Friendship Beyond CVs

For the last three hours, my brain has been the meeting point of both random, practical and profound thoughts. These thoughts have been jumping into my head, finding a comfortable spot and mingling with other thoughts. Now, all I have to do is play some music, serve some wine and the party would be complete. :)


I can only imagine how my thoughts introduce themselves together. How will my ice skating addiction describe herself to my desire to learn more IT skills? Will my "how to remain private while living out my purpose" reflection flirt with "which charities should I support"? :) As in any social setting, my thoughts are finding some common ground.


Many times, when I try to find common ground with people, the first real question that I ask is: "What are you doing now?" While people don't get offended, my consistent desire to know what people's jobs are made me realize that I sometimes equate people's life's purpose to what they do.


Of course, there is nothing wrong with being career-oriented. In fact, I find the pursuit of a good career quite exciting. However, there is something sad about defining a person's worth based on it. How can I believe that a person was born into this world just so that he could get a job and acquire prestige?


I am quite lucky that there is someone in my life who reminds me that people should be seen beyond their job descriptions -- Cyrus. :)





Cyrus was my colleague during my first term in the university student council. Back then, his victory was controversial because he won by only one vote. As a person though, there was nothing controversial about him. In fact, he was and still is one of the humblest people I know. I really admired how he would go out of his way to help people around him during their times of worry and how available he was to listen to people's rants.


During my times of trouble, I remember how much I "abused" his patience. Since he lived pretty nearby my home in Manila, I would often ask him to pick me up and to drive around our area so that I can talk until his ears bled. :) I also recall how I asked him to make those Powerpuff pins for my election campaign. I am sure he enjoyed helping me. But, I am also sure that searching for cute pictures of Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup was not exactly his favorite past time. :)


What I positively remember was that he was always supportive of my career choices no matter how crazy they were. During my first (and dismal, hehe) business attempt at a bazaar in Manila, he readily gave his support. When I was considering a million job options, 450 business ideas and everything in-between, he said encouraging words and even gave some tips on how to go about my so-called career path (or back then a career-dirt road). At that point, I realized that Cyrus was one of those people who could not really care less whether I became a diplomat or a bum. What mattered to him was that I was happy and enjoying my life. :)


Cyrus is one of the sincerest, most generous and simplest people I know. Even though our correspondences have been sporadic, there is always a sense of friendship and trust that exist between us. His friendship to me is a simple reminder that the relationships that are worth keeping are the ones that are gauged by anything but external achievements. :)


To Cyrus, thanks for everything! Wishing you the best of health. :)



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If you know of any worthy charity causes to which I will donate all proceeds of the ads in this blog, please send me an email. :)


Thanks to Christina, Karin, Sebastien and Paula. Huge shout outs to Aine and Kim for the special mention on their blogs. :) Special thanks to Janne for fixing my IT problems. One day, I will be as good as he is. Or maybe not. Hehe. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 22:45 | 0 comments

Friday, September 29, 2006

Me Without All of You

Whenever I write something, I have the tendency to edit sentences in my head even before my fingers hit the keyboard. In the end, I come up with something really crappy, which I have to rewrite word per word. A lot of times, the "head-edited" versions sound smart but feel so dishonest, fake and stupid.


The same goes for me. At times, I feel the need to edit myself in order to fit in, in order to project myself as somebody "ideal." Before I began my MCP year, for example, I almost fell into the dangerous trap of pretense. I built walls around me and kept my distance. I may have been effective at that time, but I felt unhappy, sad and lonely.


It was only when I came to accept my imperfections and openly showed those to people that I realized how great it is to actually be respected, accepted and liked for who I am -- quirky habits and all. I realized that showing my "autobiographical draft" is much easier and even better than my "published self." In the process I re-learned to like myself and laugh at my imperfections. :)


Today, I give homage to no one but to everyone who has learned to appreciate me for who I am. You have made things a lot easier for me. :) Cheers!


---

Happy birthday to Annika. And thanks to Aiste for the input. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 11:19 | 6 comments

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Regina and Erica

Lately, I have found myself killing one task after another that I feel more like a machine than a human being. It is quite sick how sometimes I define my day's success by how many tasks I have ticked off my list.


A few months ago, these peak moments at work would have easily made me push down connecting with friends to the bottom of my priority list. Ironically though, whenever I have completed part of my responsibilities, I hardly felt content or success. More often than not, I felt the need to once again create meaningful experiences with people expecting that they would oblige to my requests as if they were puppets I can control.


But people are not puppets. They cannot be pushed or pulled at my will. People are capable of controlling their own movements, their own thoughts, their speech. People are always given a choice -- especially with the kind of relationships they keep.


Why Regina chose to keep our friendship is a question only she can answer. But I am grateful she did because there would have been so much missing in my life if she gave up on me.

Regina is my oldest friend. We were classmates in preparatory school and as any two 6-year olds, our friendship was pretty, um, shallow. :) The only thing we had in common was the bus we rode home from school. Until one sunny afternoon, a bee came in our bus and we "protected" each other from its nasty sting. From that day onward, our friendship was sealed.

Between now and 1986, a lot of things have happened -- different cliques, transfering to different high schools, my mom's death, changing majors in college, relationships lost, first jobs, SFC, weight gained and lost, pimples popping and disappearing, houses moved, visa issues -- and yet, our friendship has never really changed. It has evolved, yes. But the core, the feeling of comfort, the trust and the belief in our friendship has remained.


Scientifically, it could be inferred that because we protected each other from that horrible bee, we have imprinted in our unconscious that we can count on each other for anything. Figuratively, what exists between us is like a magical meeting of two souls bound for a lifelong friendship. Practically though, we just click. :)


Over the last 14 years, Regina and I have only seen each other ONCE. But, when crisis strikes, guess who I would call? Guess who would SMS each other though it costs money just to say "Good Morning"? Guess who would send one line emails just to check on each other? Guess who would encourage each other in the toughest of times? Guess? :)


Regina is really special to me. In times when life seems so mobile and friendships so temporary, she provides me with stability. I have grown up, knowing that I have at least one true friend and I will grow old, knowing the same thing.


To Regina, thank you so much for being you. Writing what your friendship means to me seems rather silly. No amount of words can ever capture how you have made me believe in things that sometimes only seemed possible in American sitcoms. :)


You and I. Me and you. Regina and Erica. Erica and Regina. Two lives, one gift -- a beautiful friendship. :)


---

Thanks to Ritva and Vallu for hosting me and putting up with my late-night blogging. :) Thanks to Kevin as well. :) Kiitos paljon!

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 23:28 | 4 comments

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

On Maps and Stefan

To celebrate my sixth strength, humor, playfulness and wit, I am writing about something I experienced yesterday and about someone who has this as his #1 strength.


Part of the MC's job is to visit LCs and support them for their orientation days. I was very excited when I was sent to go to Oulu because I always enjoyed hanging out with these dedicated people. :)


So, yesterday morning I woke up at 4 am, packed, showered and left for the train station so that I would have ample time before the train leaves. When I arrived, I realized that the only way to buy my ticket was through the electronic thingy they have at the station. Apparently, Helsinki is still dead at 6 am (very different from Manila!). Since I was very confident of my train schedule and my Finnish, I single-handledly bought the ticket from the ticket thingy, even though it "talked" to me only in Finnish. I got my ticket, my bags and rode on the train, prepared that in around 7 hours I would see the LC.


During the first half of the trip, I was listening to music, writing my book and eating my tuna baguette. I was chilled and relax. All of a sudden, I had the urge to ask whether the train was going to Oulu. The passenger in front of me said no. I was confused but still remained calm. I thought what he meant was that he did not speak English.


However, after a semi-staring contest with the guy, I realized that when he said no, he meant that I was in the wrong train. The first thought that came into my mind was (insert expletive here). Then, I thought of creative solutions on how to get off the train as quickly as possible. Since jumping off a moving train or pushing the emergency button were not really good options, I just asked the conductor on what the heck I was supposed to do.


To cut this story short, 3 train changes later, I arrived to Oulu, safe and partly sound. :) Granted that I am not one to worry about the past too much, I would still like to share four key learning points from this experience:



Now that I think about it, I can capitalize on this really unique talent of mine. I can write a book called, Get Lost Quickly (as in Get Rich Quickly). In this book, I will chronicle how I managed to spend at least an hour in a 5-star hotel in India trying to find my room after 3 days of sleeping in it or how I managed to be in a completely different city for a company visit after counter-checking directions 3 times or how I spent one and a half years memorizing the route from my house to my high school or how I got lost 3 times in 2,5 days in Rotterdam only to be saved by 3 different AI people each time.



After this experience, I realized one thing: I may have direction in life, but I still need directions otherwise. :)


And because I had a lot of laughs due to my experience, I decided to write about a person whom I have had a lot of laughs with -- Stefan! Today, Iwill share snippets of my fun memories of him. :)




Stefan, Ladi and Me




I know there are much more sides to Stefan than being fun. He is also smart and is not afraid to speak his mind. During IPM, for example, at the height of the Danish cartoon issue, he readily gave well-constructed opinions during discussions without sounding abrasive.

I also appreciate his ability to listen and his ability to show how much he cares for people around him. For sure, my 2005-2006 MC year would have been a bit more lonely if I were not able to build a level of comfortability with Stefan (and the rest of the Scandis). I especially felt really grateful for his company during IPM. :)

I missed his presence in Poland this year. It was my first seminar without hearing Stefan's strange laughter, without seeing his funny smile and listening to his humor. I could think of many moments during IC where I could have used hearing his jokes just to lift my spirits up. :)

So Stefan, please listen to David Pollay and use your #1 strength. :) It really gives positive energy to people. Take it from me. Hehe. :) Good luck with the studies! If you have no one to tell your jokes to, you can always email me. ;)


---

Thanks to David, Lara, Thordis, Aksu and Helja. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 23:20 | 9 comments

Monday, September 25, 2006

Souls in Harmony

The beauty of music is its ability to create a community among strangers. It has a way of connecting souls. It forms invisible bonds among people going through the same experience. It puts into words and melodies a spectrum of emotions that most of us cannot even try to define.


Music is more than a string of notes put together. Music is a testament of our souls' need for companionship and for empathy. Good music has the ability to speak to your soul and to speak for your soul. Music simply is.


To be able to hear music is magical. To be able to feel music is wonderful. To be able to sing music is a gift.


I was blessed with such a gift. Though I am not as good as my sister, I was still good enough to be accepted to sing for the Ateneo College Ministry Group (ACMG) -- our university's resident singers for spiritual occassions. Hehe. :)


Being part of the choir was not easy. It required time. It demanded practice. Sometimes, it asked me to spend some money. There were days my vocal chords were so strained I was afraid to speak. :) Yet, in every practice, in every performance, in every note sang -- individual voices became so intertwined that it resulted into a melodious harmony of souls.


Needless to say, irreplaceable moments were experienced. How can I forget the need to block off every Mondays and Wednesdays between 16:30-18:00 so I can attend practices? Or the two long nights we needed to spend travelling from house to house to sing Christmas carols? Who among us can forget the instant guitar playing and singing sessions in our crammed office? What about all the school holidays spent on the chapel to practice dance movements (that should never have happened) for our year-end concerts? :)


What made being part of this group even more special was how we became part of other people's experiences of faith. In between all the masses we sung for, the weddings, the funerals and the small ocassions here and there, were prayers amplified and emotions felt.


Fortunately (or not), my singing career is over. :) These days my singing voice is heard only in the shower (though my ex-house mates claimed I was just shouting in the morning) or in karaoke bars. But, if there is one thing I always thank God for, it's music. Without it, my life would be boring and sad.


To my choirmates: Toby, Doodle, Mic, Tatot, Roy, Emyr, Tintin, Jenna, MJ, Angela, Mhir, Dom, Mia, Donna, Bryan, Jason, Garyn, Sherlyn, She, Marty, Diana, Paolo -- Ad Majoriem Dei Gloriam. :)


---

Thanks Aine for the nice comments. And to Pak, yeah, maybe one day I will be rich. :) To my team, thanks for the Boomi. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 20:19 | 5 comments

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Past Forward

The recent power struggle in Thailand made me relive my days as Student Council President in High School. Don't get me wrong. Nobody wanted to revoke my presidency. :) It was just that as president, I usually had to lead the school in partisan rallies -- rallies can go from standing against nuclear proliferation to speaking up against constitutional change.


At 17, my main priority as a "leader" was to be remembered. I wanted things to happen so that people will remember me as "one of the greatest presidents of all time." However, when I returned to my high school a year and a half later, no one really cared that I was president or what I did -- being president was just one-line on my CV.


It was a sad realization but it is also an obvious example of how I tended to focus on the shallow and unimportant things. In the end, what matters is not really what you have accomplished but how you as a leader was able to make the most of the experience and how you have created an impact on (at least some) people's lives. It was a lesson learned the hard way but I was lucky to have learned it early on in life.


Though I did not really realize the dream to be in my school's history books, I do not think that my year as president of my high school student council was a waste! :) If not for this experience, I would not have the privilege of having people like JC in my life. :)




Ninnin and JC somewhere out there. :)



JC was such a joy to be with. She had this undescribable laughter that rang through most of our meetings and late-night cramming for events like the bandfest. I recall that she was my best source of gossip about each and every living soul in our school. She also had the wittiest sense of humor. I remember laughing my heart out with her about that ridiculous fan dance we had for our senior year and how we secretly mocked our teachers and people from the lower year levels. :)


I must confess I was not very good at keeping in touch with JC. She gave more effort than I did. :( But how I regret not keeping up-to-date with what's going on with her! She is one of those people with whom I can connect with humor-wise. I can only imagine the laughter wasted by not keeping in contact with her all these years. I am sure that if we meet up now, our level of sarcasm would definitely click. :)


Time may have been lost between us but that bond, that memory, that one year will always have space in my heart. I am sure that the potential of our friendship was not tainted by the lack of communication in the past few years. We are young and we have lots of years to still share between us. Even though distance and, perhaps ambition, has separated us for now, one true thing remains: my high school life would not have been as fun without JC. If only for that, I am sure to keep JC in my life. :)


To JC, I know you hate reading blogs, but I hope you read this one. Hope you ace your graduate course in Singapore. Hug Amanda for me! :)



---

Thanks to Carmina and Leeyaj for the nice comments on my writing. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 21:43 | 0 comments

Some Lessons on Success


My "nanny" -- Tiya Sepa



Coming from a two-income family in the Philippines usually means that parents need to hire someone full time to be your kids' nanny. Our family was no exception. What was exceptional though was the luck we had with Tiya Sepa. She is one of the most trustworthy and giving persons I know. One who is able to love people unconditionally.


I don't think there is anyone else in this entire world who has put up with my tantrums and annoying habits than her. There are many memories, most of which I would rather forget, where I just cringe in shame as to why I did those things. Although most of those acts could be credited to youth and ignorance, I would have to credit Tiya Sepa for her patience and understanding.


What I admire from Tiya Sepa the most is her optimism and belief in life's great blessings. Though she comes from a poor family, she has never really taken energy to complain. She just goes out there to find ways to make life easier for her and her family.


I am really thankful that out of all the potential nannies in the world, I was blessed with her. She has taught me so many lessons on generosity, love, faith and hope. She has also loved me unconditionally and in times when I feel really crappy, she is one of the people I think about and somehow I feel better.


Best of all, she has taught me that success is not all about acquiring property, earning a degree and being famous. Success is merely living your life as thankfully and as lovingly as you could.


Though there is an extremely minute chance that this entry will be read by her, I still want to post this as a testament of gratitude and acknowledgement of all the good things she has brought into my life. I know that there is not enough gifts and money in this world to give back what she has given me.

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 12:42 | 1 comments

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Saturday's Way


Me with Belle, Patricia, Enrique and Angelica



Saturdays have a way of reminding me that I am not at home.


Saturdays have a way of making me feel human.


Saturdays have a way of making me feel relaxed.


Saturdays have a way of making me feel excited for the week to come.


Saturdays have a way of making me think about my future.


Saturdays have a way of reliving my childhood.


Saturdays have a way of making me explore random ideas.


Saturdays have a way of reminding me of my friends.


Saturdays have a way of reminding me of the joy I used to have when weekends came when I was still in school.


Saturdays have a way of making me want to sleep the whole day.


Saturdays have a way.


And on this particular Saturday, I am reminded of how I miss spending my Saturdays with my nieces and nephews. One day, I will write about them one by one. :)


What about you? What do Saturdays do to you? :)


---

Thanks to Kreta for the nice words and to Ilkka, Jukka, Mirje and Antti for the nice Friday night dinner. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 16:15 | 1 comments

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Pieces of Halmen


Wow Filipinas. How cute are we? Haha.



What I know of Halmen are only pieces of whom she really is. I have never really worked with her nor have I even gone out to watch a movie with her. I do know one thing: she is someone worth having in your life. :)


Though I only hold pieces of Halmen in my hand, the pieces I have are colorful enough for me to want to see the bigger picture. Rarely have I met anyone so forgiving. Nor have I met anyone so resilient and able to move on in spite of life's tricky and often unfair challenges. Nor have I met anyone who would be willing to spend money and time for me, a person she has only met once, to make sure that I was comforted or that I received the package I got from my sister (remember IPM?).


Those few pieces, remind me of pieces which, I sometimes wish I had. I wish I were more forgiving. I wish I were more generous of my time, my energy and my resourcers. I wish I were more able to face challenges the way she is able to. And if only for those pieces, I can safely say that she is one of the people whom I would like to get to know more, to welcome more in my life and to learn more from.


To Halmen, my chat buddy, I wish you positive blessings. You deserve it. :)



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Thanks David, Henrik, Sarita, Ari and Jac! You know why. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 22:25 | 6 comments

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Unsolicited Compliments from Heidi to Heidi

A few hours ago, I almost wanted to shut this blog down. It is a shame that just because I wanted to show an unedited version of me for everyone to see, some people take this as a go-signal to dissect my being and my way of thinking. While I am certain that those pieces of advice were not meant to hurt me, when you are given unsolicited advice, no matter how pure the intentions are, you are caught off-guard and you become hurt (especially if you were sick and was thus in a bad mood like I was).


Just as I was going through this minute-by-minute roller coaster, I received an email from a person whom I consider one of the most wonderful people I know - Heidi. What was said that email, remains private but the effect of that email deserves to be made public for that email made me experience unexpected joy. I guess that is what I almost admired about Heidi. She always sees the best in people. She opens herself up to people and allows them to share the energy she has.



From the time I applied for the MC, to the time we met in the Netherlands, until now, Heidi has proven to be one of the most generous souls I know. Her kind of generosity goes beyond the material. Rather what she offers to others are parts of herself to make sure that the people around her are happy and comfortable. She is generous in sharing her stories and her networks. She is always willing to help when help is needed. She is simply Heidi. :)


While I have a few more memories of Heidi, I will only share one that particularly stood out. When I was applying as and MC Director, I was extremely scared because my AIESEC experience back then was close to -2. It was not even zero. Yet, throughout the selection process, she never made me feel uncomfortable that I made the decision to apply. She had a way of conveying without blatantly saying that, "Hey, it's gonna be fine." :)


I am really happy to have Heidi in my life. I am very lucky to have met someone so genuinely willing to always see the good in people and what they do. I still recall when Heidi, out of the blue, emailed Team Lego about how we were doing a great job at a time when everyone else forgot that we were. And that compliment brought out a few smiles in our otherwise tired souls. Isn't that a perfect example of Heidi's warmness? Isn't that a perfect example of how one word, one sentence, one act can make a difference in people's lives? :)


To Heidi, I am glad you are my "first version" of an MCP. Wishing you and Matt lots of blessings! :)



---

Annika, thank you for the constructive feedback on my language. I will remember that now that I am writing my book. Kill the angels! Kill them! Kill them! Hehe. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 21:23 | 7 comments

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Jac Checking!


Jac, Hazel and Carmina trying to be prim. Seriously Jac, those two are my grade school friends, hehe. You on the other hand were studying in the "other school." Hehe. Just kidding. :)



Jac and I have probably not seen each other in 4 years. Wow! It has been that long. Yet, I never really felt that the distance both in time and space have strained our friendship.


Jac and I were colleagues first before we became friends. She and I worked in the student council when we were in our senior year in the university. And no matter how young we were, politics was politics. It was dirty, gossip-filled and full of BS. Yet, underneath all that crap lay the foundation of beautiful and long-lasting friendships among the people in our team.


Admittedly, Jac and I have lost contact for at least two years. I had some idea what she was doing and she probably had some idea on what was up with me. But there was not much emails written nor instant messages exchanged. Yet, I knew deep down that if and when I wanted to rant, rave or say anything in between, she would be there to listen to me. :)


This goes to show how much people mean to Jac. For her, her family and friends are the most valuable assets she has. She really takes the time out to make them feel wanted and special.


I cannot really find a way to explain what Jac's effect is on me. She is just special to me because she is consistent in her friendship. She goes out of her way to make people feel special without asking for anything in return. Plus, she is a great listener. I remember those days when I was giddy about so many things that even I would have gone crazy trying to understand me. But with Jac, she just tried her best to understand a crazy friend. :-P


What I really like about Jac is that whenever her friends achieve something or live part of their dreams, she is genuinely happy for them. That, I feel, is something really special since the natural reaction of some people would be that of jealousy or sour graping. But "her people's" success is hers as well. I still remember that touching SMS she sent me when I was on my way to Finland. I guess she does not remember anymore but I do. In fact, that message was in my inbox until my Philippine sim card decided to go kaput. :)


Jac, I know we have not talked in ages but I miss your company. I miss discussing nothing and everything with you. I missed mulling over business possibilities with you. I miss critiquing films with you. I miss you. :) I just hope you know how much I value you in my life. :) Mabuhay ka!


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Thanks Ladi, Aine, Ces and Ali for the nice comments about my blog. :) You made my otherwise sulky day happier. Cheerios!

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 20:16 | 5 comments

Monday, September 18, 2006

Team Bondage -- Finnish LCP Team 06-07


Team Bondage: No pain, No gain.



I consider myself one of the luckiest MCPs in the world. Not only do I have a great MC team, I also have a great LCP team. Yes, today I am dedicating my entry to the individuals that make up my LCP team - Team Bondage. :)



To Team Bondage, I have said it many times to you but I will say it again for everyone to know. I trust each and every one of you to make sure that we achieve the goals we have set out in the beginning. My year as MCP could have been a living hell but it is not because I know that the LCs are in good hands. Because of your leadership and your friendship, I have the energy to wake up every morning to fight the good fight for AIESEC in Finland. I could not ask for a better LCP team. You are great leaders individually, and together, you are just super, extraordinarily, beyond all description, AMAZING. Thank you for all the laughs, the good discussions and the energy you have. Thank you for working together so well and acting as a real team, despite the distance. Thank you for sharing your feelings to each other and giving ideas to each other though the forum all the time. Thank you for the nice words and the encouragement. Thank you for everything. :)


-----


Okay, so I admit I was the one who came up with the name. But you have to admit, we have had good jokes about it. :-p

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 21:16 | 4 comments

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Seeing Poverty and Living the Day

Before I worked in Finland, I worked for AMORE for 1,5 years. During those years, I was given the chance to experience something that no other 21-year old could have experienced at that time - seeing, meeting and feeling poverty like never before.


I cannot even explain how poor these people are. These people live on the far flung islands of the Philippines. They have no electricity and no source of potable water. The sad thing is this leads to a vicious cycle of poverty. No electricity means for the students that they, don't get to study after 7 pm or if they do, they strain their eyes and their backs. No electricity meant that there was no way to store any fish that might have been caught before the sun has sets. No potable water meant limited water supply for the family. No potable water meant not being able to present one properly when doing transactions for their small livelihoood. No electricity. No running water. Imagine your life without these two things. Isn't it horrible? To them, it's a reality.


These islands are also unsafe places in the Philippines because they were lairs for insurgents. There were trips where bombs were blowing off kilometers away from where I was staying. In the small huts we slept in, there were often people with M-16's guarding our rooms to make sure we were safe. We often had a GPS with us, just in case we were kidnapped. I remember spending nights and days praying for my safety whenever I was asked to go on these trips.


Poverty makes people angry. Poverty makes people feel useless. Poverty makes people feel stupid. If you go to school hungry, how can you even try to learn to count, when all you can think about is when you will eat a decent meal? How can you learn more about history if your schools don't have the proper facility to run a decent library? How can you "help promote peace and work for a better country" when you feel like you are at the bottom of each and every chain possible?


I am posting this as a wake-up call to me more than to anyone else. A lot of times, I need to be reminded of how blessed I am that, inspite of my very skewed version of my "personal poverty," I am able to eat decent amounts of food whenever my body needs it. I need to be reminded that sometimes, I mull over the smallest of things when I can use that same energy showing gratitude for what I have.


So, today I decided to do something about it. By the time you are reading this, I would have sent out one of the free bags I got in Poland to my former nanny's family. That bag will have some shirts, some food, maybe even chocolates. These are simple things yet they are luxurious to a lot of people. I have decided to do this because I wanted this day to count and to at least make one person happy.


I am not a good person. I am sarcastic at times, judgmental, even arrogant. I am not generous. I can be mean. I can be critical. I can be self-centered and selfish. And this one act, does not really make me a wonderful person. But you know what? If anything, this act has proven one thing: every day my existence can make a small, minute yet positive difference. It is that simple. And your life is making a difference too. I know that you have made mine by taking the pain of reading this long post. :)


Until the next entry about people I love.

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 23:11 | 4 comments

Friday, September 15, 2006

Laila, Laila con Migo


She, me, Mhir and Laila



I never thought that I would be good friends with Laila. In college, we were were always crossing paths, mingling with the same people and working for ACMG and yet we never really got a chance to bond. Until one summer day, fate and desperation brought us together. How? Well try going to a weird beach somewhere in the Phiippines to find out. :)


That bonding session was hardly anything spectacular. I remember us talking about the movie Centerstage and trying to comprehend how the heck that movie turned into a sappy love story. We also shared a lot of gossip I remember but mostly what we did was small talk -- just enough to pass time by.


The friendship started to become deeper during summer 2001 when we were in school day in and day out. I was working for the student council and she was working for the council of organizations. But our interactions were rarely about work. They were mostly about random chit-chat on Harry Potter, boys and Snood. Laila never knew this but during that summer, I was struggling emotionally because of the lawsuit that was slapped against me and my friends (because of school politics). Laila provided me with a chance to escape and a chance to laugh.


Senior year in college went by pretty quickly. Soon, we were university graduates ready to take on the world BUT only after we bummed for a while. And bum our for a while we did. We spent almost six months of doing nothing separately and together. I remember me getting fatter and Laila getting funnier. Laila and I talked endlessly on the phone. Pathetically though, it was usually about Filipino celebrities, soap operas and again, boys. :)


After getting our first real jobs, Laila and I continued to bond. We often went out trying new restaurants. We often watched movies together. We often sent instant messages during work time to joke, to complain, to laugh, to share.


When I left for Finland, Laila was one of the few people whom I kept my contact with. She would often receive emails that were long and sometimes very weird. Yet, she kept patience and replied, often giving sound advice.


These days, I miss having Laila within an arm´s reach. I get so much positive vibe from her because of her generosity, very special wit and strong principles. She definitely is one of those people whom I will admire if only for her honest and simple behavior.


Laila is also very humble. She does not brag about her relatively celebrity-filled family. She also loves her family very much. There are moments when I actually liked going to Laila´s house because of the warmth one can feel from the place.


Laila is one of the people I cherish the most. She has seen my worst sides and yet continues to patiently care for me. The distance between us has not stopped us from having a loving friendship.

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 23:58 | 3 comments

All About Aron


Aron, Me, Louise and Lars acting as each other in ScaLDS. Aron was me, I was Aron, Louise was Lars and Lars was Louise. :)



It is no secret that Aron and I are very good friends. Sometimes people even mistake our closeness for something beyond friendship. The simple truth is that Aron is someone whom I can completely trust. I trust him because inspite of our many differences, we have consciously found a way to be patient with and listen to each other. We have learned to appreciate each other's company and friendship.


I must admit though that my first impression of Aron was pretty bad. I thought his glasses looked weird and that he tried too hard to modulate his voice. :) Mind you, I met Aron even before my MC days. I met him as the OCP of our seminar while he tried to dip his foot in facilitating for the first time.


As in any encounters in AIESEC, that meeting was not the only time where I met Aron. I also saw him in ScaLDS 2005 where I remember getting really annoyed because he just rudely grabbed my Moleskin calendar out of my hand while I was browsing through it. Then came IPM where our friendship started to take off. During that conference, I could feel his enthusiasm, something I did not have much at that time so hanging out with him felt nice. Post-IPM, we took our friendship, one conversation at a time and the rest is history.


I am very lucky to have someone like Aron in my life. Even though we think very differently on many things, his presence enables me to question myself and rethink paradigms which I constructed as reality in my mind. Only few people in my life have the ability to do that and Aron is one of them. He has his own way of thinking and I have mine. Most of the time they clash. Yet, after every conversation with him, I learn something new about myself and that is always refreshing.


One thing I appreciate about Aron is how he values my desire for honest communication. He knows I talk no BS and he does the same with me. Sometimes, we can be a bit too honest, which sometimes leads to me getting annoyed with him. The funny thing is, if and when he is annoyed with me, he keeps his mouth shut and just lets the moment pass. This is proof that, though he may not be aware of it, he has an innate patience and desire to understand people.


Everyone knows that Aron is great on stage. And this stage presence comes from the fact that he really takes so much time to prepare his speeches and presentations. He mulls over the details to makes sure the delegates get the most out of them. And yet, because of his wit, he can also spontaneously ramble credible nothings on stage. Just goes to show how much stage presence this guy has! :)


But what I like most about Aron is his sense of personal adventure -- his willingness to take on drastic and uncommon choices, his willingness to take emotional risks and his willingness to explore sides of him that he may not have thought about.


To Aron, I am glad to have you as my counterpart in Sweden. If only for your friendship, your company, your silly jokes, your listening ears and your generous spirit, my year as MCP has been and will continue to be worth it. Smiles buddy! I am pretty sure all your dreams will come true and when that happens I want to be at least informed. :) Brå! Skål!



---
Thank you to those who emailed or messaged me about the blog. I will continue writing as long as there is one soul who reads this. Thank you. You have made my day.

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 00:41 | 9 comments

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Oh Marjo, My Marjo!


Marjo is the girl in the middle. :)



Happiest Delegate - Marjo, no matter how tired she is or how pissed off, always finds the energy to smile at people. I remember when I first saw her at the Helsinki local seminar, she got so much attention because of her natural sweetness and warm attitude. I also remember Marjo very distinctly telling me during Introsemma how she appreciates that I smile a lot and how I am always energetic. And I wondered privately, "That's what I thought about you as well!" Maybe this is the reason why we became friends. :)


Beyond the job roles - There are moments in an MCP's life that she feels that she needs to hide her emotions from people because of fear of looking vulnerable. However, Marjo helped me realize that putting on a facade of perfection was just plain bull. She made me realize that leaders do not need to be perfect to be respected. She made me realize that people will continue respect me inspite of my flaws and insecurities. That's the good thing about my friendship with Marjo. Our job roles rarely played a role in our friendship. She just treated me as Erica, her friend. A friend she invited to go on walks (though it never happened) when she knew I felt bad. A friend she invited over to watch a movie with when she knew I felt lonely. A friend she jokes with about the silliest of things. A friend who hugs me warmly every time she sees me. A friend whom I can ask the stupidest questions to. A friend with whom I confide my future plans to. And yet, she treated me as her MCD/MCP when necessary. How is that for a mature professional and personal relationship? :)


A Fantastic LCP - How can I even begin to describe Marjo as a leader? Simply put, she is one of the best I have seen. She managed to change the culture of her LC out of sheer dedication and optimism. She managed to inspire the people around her to strive for results without pushing them too hard. She managed to convince people to get in and stay in the organization. She managed and she manages. And she does this with so much humility and heart that it baffles me sometimes how she does it!


Marjo is really a special person to me although maybe she is not that aware of it. In a country as cold as Finland, Marjo is one of the people whom I look to for warmth and comfort. She brings me so much joy when I see her that sometimes all I need to do is be in her presence to feel good.


Oh Marjo, my Marjo! What would Erica 2006 be without you? :)


Special thanks to Henrik, Aiste, Rustem and Viktor for the compliments about my blog but did not post the comments here. :) You guys made me feel very blessed! :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 00:26 | 5 comments

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Being Tomi Astikainen


I named this blog entry after one of Tomi´s favorite movies, Being John Malkovich -- a movie where random people got the chance to get into John Malkovich's head and live his life for a few minutes. In this blog entry however, I do not intend to write as if I were Tomi. I would still write as Erica. What I will do though, is let you in on what was in my head during some of the top moments I have had with Tomi.



Top Memory #1: Two beers and two decisions - I only had 2 chances to have solo beers with Tomi and both times were memorable for me. The first one was during the September ICX weekend, where we talked about his future and figured out that perhaps going on a traineeship would be best for such a free-spirited guy. The second one happened in the good old Kantsu bar called Kannel Krouvi, where I, finally decided to apply for MCP.


What struck me most about both moments was how willing he was to make me understand him and how willing he was to understand me. This just goes to show how loving he is as a person. He may not realize it but he is one of the most caring people I know. For one, he made sure that I would become his friend (and not just a workmate) by going out of his way to get to me and get me to talk. He gave me honest yet well-said feedback and he tried to understand me even when I was in the worst of moods. He also had a way of making me believe in myself. He gave me compliments when I deserved it. And although he gave them often, I knew that every time he said something nice, it was sincere.


Top Memory #2: Eating the spicy sausage soup in Kantsu - When I first put that soup in my mouth, my lips literally started burning. It was THAT spicy. Hehe. :)


However, no matter how much eating that soup hurt, having that soup in our fridge was a testament of how generous Tomi was. Often, when he bought and cooked food, he made sure there was enough for everyone. Plus, although I could have cooked, I often gave the chef's hat to Tomi because he loved doing it and he was good (especially with mixing and matching spices)!


Tomi's love for spices also characterizes him. His life is full of spices. He loves facing life head on, rising up to challenges, going on adventures and taking risks. This is one of the many reasons why I believe Tomi will one day be a recognized entrepreneur. Aside from the fact that he is a great sales person, a good motivator and an evolving leader, he is just willing to take life's dares and deal with them. He does not give up easily. He fights a good fight. Now, that is what success stories are made of. :)


Top Memory #3: Tomi reading his sugar cubes after Success and Input - If I were to write a book about leadership, I would certainly make Tomi a case study. He is an amazing leader. So amazing that I assume that all his sugar cubes from those seminars were of gratitude for inspiring the people he has led over the year. The LCs just loved Tomi. They loved him not because he was perfect but because he was imperfect and yet was brave enough to face these weaknesses and work on them. He knew what made people tick and always kept people's motivation in mind. He had an innate love to learn more about leadership and to constantly improve himself as a leader. He never stops trying to become an even better leader simply because he knows that his potential is limitless.


My memories with Tomi do not end here. We have shared so many good and trying moments together that there are so much more stories and lessons to chronicle. The everything you desire nights, the movie nights where I ended up sleeping, the walk to the bus stop before going on our Christmas holidays, the sales visit to Basware, the roll calls, the Alfapet games, the train rides to functional weekends, the random picture taking at the office, him looking at my computer screen, the "ding! ding! ding!" comments, the handover, the laughter, the tears, the successes and the post-its. :)


I know there are so much more memories waiting to be made with THE Tomi Astikainen. And even though he is miles away, I know that we don't have to wait be in the same place for us to continue creating those memories. After all, our friendship knows no borders. :)


To Tomi, I just needed to say this once more: "Line!" :) Hugs!

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 22:52 | 10 comments

That's My Jing!


In every chapter of your life, there are people whom we value, people whom we feel forever affiliated with. And at the end of that chapter, we always say that we will keep in touch, write each other emails, take time to update each other. Sadly though, sometimes, when we are so caught up with writing new chapters in our lives, we hardly have time to revisit pages we once spent so much writing about.


Today, I am going to revisit one of those chapters by writing about Jing, my best friend in my first job in Manila, i.e. in AMORE.


What makes Jing a special person?



I do hope that Jing will be able to read this entry if only for her to remember and realize that our friendship will never be edited out of my life.

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 00:19 | 2 comments

Monday, September 11, 2006

A Lot Like Lars



Yakki, yakki, yakki, yakki, lars, lars, lars. :)



Lars -- a great MCP, a trustworthy friend and an overall good guy. Skål! ;)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 00:30 | 7 comments

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Thank You ASEF!


I know I was supposed to write about a movie, but I decided to share something I felt I needed to show gratitude for today. Well, today I am thankful not to a single person but to an entity, an organization that has changed my life as well -- the Asia-Europe Foundation.



First, ASEF was the organization that made it possible for me to go an internship to Finland. They once partnered with AIESEC to send 5 Asias and 5 Europeans to each other's continents. That is why I landed in the glorious land of Finland.



Second, they paved the way for me to become part of ASEFUAN, a growing network of over 450 young and intelligent people from the ASEM countries who have a passion for international relations. I know I have met some of my good friends there (which you will meet here as well).



Third, and the latest thing they have done for me, is that they allowed me to get invited last night to a dinner hosted by the Finnish Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen which is very special indeed.




I know that this organization has not finished its positive effect on my life. There will be more friends, more dinners, and more people to be encountered through them.



Cheers to ASEF! Cheers to ASEFUAN! Some day you and AIESEC will meet again. I will make sure of that! ;)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 00:01 | 2 comments

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Kim, Kimmy, Kimma



Kim was perhaps my first real friend in Helsinki. I remember the first time I really talked to her was in a bus on our way to Otaniemi where we had a whole "Who is that?" moment with (insert name here). After that day, it was all good with Kim and I. Today's blog is dedicated to Kim -- one of the people who made my traineeship year rock.



I have found five quotes that describe what I know of Kim:



Kim. Kimmy. Kimma. The worst typist in the world. The best buddy you can ask for.


P.S. Tomorrow, I take a break from people but write about a movie that made a difference in my life. Stay tuned! :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 00:06 | 6 comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

My Sister, Nikka



Four movie titles I associate my sister, Nikka, with:



My sister is one of the people whom I know I can trust. She remains constant in her understanding inspite of my flaws and sometimes, incoherent behavior. :-P She is definitely a blessing to the souls with whom she has crossed paths with.

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 10:25 | 7 comments

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Janne!

Who is Janne?






To Janne, my life in Finland would have been just as happy but not as blessed without you. Here is to more years of laughter, discussions and, of course, business success. :-P

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 10:03 | 5 comments

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Why I Started a Personal Blog

I might die any minute.


This is the reason I started this blog.


I don't want to die knowing that only bits and pieces of me were known to people whom I care for.


I don't want to die knowing that I have not done my best to touch as many lives as possible. Those of you who know me have told me so many times that my life is worth sharing, so here it is, out in the open.


I don't want to die knowing that I waited for that moment to live my dream, when every day, every single minute, I can live that dream.


I don't want to die not chronicling the moments and people I am most thankful for.


I don't want to die looking forward to the tomorrow that will never come.


I don't want to live for the tomorrow, I want to live for the today.


This blog is a testament of what I have always believed in - taking life's blessings, living life's lessons and loving life ONE DAY AT A TIME.


Here is to a wonderful journey together.


P.S. To those who showed concern, I am not depressed or anything. Death is hardly something to be afraid of. :)

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 12:23 | 21 comments