Saturday, March 10, 2007
Hit Her Baby One More Time!
Her loneliness is killing her.
I recently got updated with the tribulations of Britney Spears. As much as I am not a fan of the pop star, I cannot help but feel for her. Imagine, in a span of a few weeks, she shaved her head off, tried to kill herself, went in a rehab facility and declared undying love for her once-estranged husband. Some people judge her for not being able to handle the fame and the fortune given her. Some people say that she should not act this way because her problems are not as big as other people's. Some people say this and some say that. But in the end, who are we to judge whose problems are bigger? All problems as in all emotions are valid. Her problems are no exception.
At the very core of it, I think she feels lonely. I think that is a feeling all of us can relate to at every point in our lives. I don't know where her feeling of loneliness comes from because, obviously, we are not close. I can only surmise it is due to the ironic consequence of fame and fortune -- of people expecting much more than what can be given, of the general public not giving her personal space, of her parents getting divorced and her not being able to grieve properly and her having a marriage that everyone looked forward to failing.
In a lot of ways, I feel she has been communicating her desperation, the only ways she knows how. Maybe she felt that no one really understood her. Perhaps, she was right. Fame, fortune and all kinds of superficial achievements will never be able to fill in the void that I believe every human being needs -- to be cared for and to be understood.
Don't we all feel like Britney Spears at times? Misunderstood? Alone? Seeking for indirect help that no one seems to understand? And don't we all show our desperation, sadness and loneliness in very indirect ways? Don't we all ask for attention and test our relationships by being needy, annoying and sometimes pathetic? Don't we behave in ways so irrational whenever we have problems?
Just a few months ago, I misjudged a person very badly. I took her actions as arrogance, indifference and annoying. However, after having a conversation with her, I discovered why she acted like she did. I recognized what context and the assumptions she was (re)acting upon. I discovered parts of her that made everything fall into place. Now, our relationship has improved and I have discovered what a great person she actually is. Our friendship would be 10x better now if I put aside my own presumptions, talked to her and asked her what I believe is the most powerful question: why?
I believe that is what we all fail to do. We fail to ask one simple question: Why? If we just learned to ask why, instead of judging and assuming things about people, we would all build an environment of support and understanding. I have heard somewhere that in order to know what a person is really thinking or feeling, you have to ask "why?" five times, then you get to the real reason.
All of us are a bit lonely. Some show it overtly, others hide it, while others don't even recognize it. Let us not wait for our friend's "Britney Spears moment" before you show that you care. After all, I don't think the world can handle a lot of bald people. :)
0 comments:
Post a comment »