Thursday, May 17, 2007
Eating My Humble Pie
This MCP year, I have experienced great successes. I have been able to lead a team and a country. I have made great friends. I have become an inspiration to some.
Ironically, it was also this year fell flat on my face on numerous times. And on each fall, I would stand up and pretend unwounded and unscathed. Pride, arrogance and a fake sense of self-confidence took over. Most of the time, I denied I had failed and conditioned myself that everything happened for a reason so I need not really take time off to reflect. However, in the last few weeks I have realized how important it is to let go of my pride and self-appreciation. Painstakingly, I realized that I needed to be more humble i.e. able to accept myself fully and others as well.
I would have wanted to say that I succeeded in that already but unfortunately, I have not. I still have pride and envy running through my veins. More than that, I still have not completely let go of my tendency to judge certain people. Obviously, the process of letting go of these negative traits would be painful and long. As it is though, I am willing to be hurt and to wait.
Realizing I need to be humble and trying to be humble in the process is a weird thing. While the emotions that come with it are positive, it is much easier to be nasty, arrogant and vain. Then again, these traits are rarely anything that would help one experience well-being. In fact, it is the best way to go into an emotional downward spiral.
Eating a humble pie is as satisfying as eating any normal pie. Perhaps, it is even more delicious than anything else one can chew on. But the methods that go into making this pie is indescribably hard though I would not mind going through the process if only for the satisfaction of being full from eating this pie.
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