Monday, May 28, 2007

No Sugar and All Spice

Lately, I have found myself to be a bit mean.


I am not mean to everyone just to certain people, whom honestly, I feel a bit threatened with. All my mean comments, snide remarks and sarcastic humor has mostly nothing to do with how weird these people are (although, others may agree that they are weird). It has everything to do with my sense of self-acceptance and love. I ask myself: "Why do I spend energy on being mean anyway?" Unfortunately, the answer has always been directed to how much self-esteem I have. By self-esteem, I do not mean confidence of course. By self-esteem I mean complete and unconditional love for self.


I would not say I have not been trying. I blogged about accepting people a few days back. Sometimes I succeed, lately I have failed. But then everyday is a learning process. As it is this whole process of achieving inner peace has been swinging from one end of the spectrum to another. I am not giving up though. There may be bumps but as long as I recognize the bumps, then everything becomes a huge learning process.


If anything though, my desire to be more humble has been quite successful. My faith has also gotten stronger. Best of all, I take life less seriously now and I am learning to have more fun than before.


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Please cross your fingers for my visa. I really need it soon. :(

Posted by Erica Cleofe at 16:01

1 comments:

  1. Blogger Tomi Astikainen on June 03, 2007 6:50 PM

    Hey,

    Funny should you mention "the process of finding inner peace". I also thought that it is a process. That you somehow grow to become wiser and more balanced and that you have to change certain things in your lifestyle to achieve this. But it didn't work. I went badly astray and found myself being the same old Tomi no matter how much I tried to be a better person. Only then I realized that it's not about trying to become something else but it's merely accepting "what is": who you are with your vices and virtues, what you have in your life and what goes around you. After reaching that acceptance it has been so much easier to take life as it comes, i.e. to be more balanced.

    I just lost my cell phone (again!). Someone took it in the bus. The fact that I have both my Sri Lankan and Finnish SIM card in it, and of course all the important numbers that I will have to hunt down again, could have made me really mad. Instead I just accepted what happened. That's all. I'll get a new phone one day...

    Take care buddy! Hope you get your visa sorted out.

    -Tomi

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