Saturday, October 13, 2007
Saturday Night Fever (Literally)!
I have been having one of the best weekends I have had in ages. Granted I just came back from the hospital after experiencing some physical discomforts, I am happy that my body forced me to rest.
Anyway, there is no need to worry about my health. The doctor said my lab results were beautiful because I was normal (more than less). I just needed to rest and accept that being a woman means experiencing discomforts every now and then! I am really glad I decided to go to the hospital this time around. After two visits, I have given up on the medical system but since I knew that I would worry about my physical health the whole weekend, I decided it was wise to get a check-up. I am really glad that God blessed me with a woman doctor this time. I mean the differences in concern, attention and understanding (between men and women doctors) are so starking it made me vow that I would demand for women doctors, dentists, etc from now on.
Case in point: Last month I went to two doctors with the same symptom. All the doctors did was look at me, ask 1 question and sent me off to the lab for tests. This doctor, took time to listen to my symptoms, asked about my medical history and even acceded to my request for a blood test though it was unnecessary. I love it and I thank God for it!
Anyway, about being home for the weekend. I am actually happy I decided to skip all the parties and just spend quiet nights at home where I can pig out, enjoy a good book and try to clean my flat. I have not had this kind of weekend in almost half a year and I am so happy to just be home! I love it! I have been under a lot of stress, both real and imagined, lately that this was the thing I definitely needed to feel alive again. :)
Anyway, my energy is so strong that when I am in a bad mood, all bad things happen to me. When the mood is good, then lo and behold, blessings after blessings come. So in a way, stopping this weekend is just a sure way that I would go into the right direction. And I am certain, that I only want good things to happen to me. So universe, since you are listening, STOP and I mean STOP messing with me. :)
But anyway, moving on requires not looking back. And man, am I challenged with that. I just am very hard on myself in terms of forgetting about my sins from the past. I think it may be because of my upbringing that nothing goes unpunished or suffering is a good thing. Okay, that was the fundamental Catholic in me. But now, I would like to believe that I have progressed and actually learned that what is relevant is my personal relationship with the Dude up there. But old habits die hard (but they do die).
So as I re-energize myself this weekend, I also need to learn to continue learning something really essential in starting anew -- forgiving and loving myself. It has been a long and essentially challenging process so far. But so far, it has been worth it. When the time comes when I can say, I LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY AND VERY HEALTHILY (not overly selfish as people can be), I can only see myself smiling joyfully and thanking God, my friends and family and you for going on the journey with me. :)
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